The jester / throws haiku pebbles / reveling.

This is a 3-5-3 syllable remake of my original 5-7-5 haiku:

Haiku jester throws / random pebble in water / revels in ripples.

I’ve been writing 3-5-3 ‘ku’s and ‘ru’s as a brain exercise lately, and although some look a little sparse, it has forced me to focus on the essence of the thought-image, message or feeling I want to convey.  I kinda like it!  3-5-3 is more hints and clues, rather than full details – simpler, purer wording, and more interpretive for the reader.

The funny thing is that when I go back to 5-7-5 syllables, I feel verbose!  It feels like overabundance, a luxury of words, an embarrassment of riches.  It’s like giving a slob – a messy person – a larger room to live in…you know they’ll fill up the extra space with more stuff, but will it be good stuff or just more mess?  3-5-3 has been a good discipline for me…

Which do you like better?  Don’t worry, I don’t think I’ll abandon 5-7-5 completely, any time soon, but Haikumages will be a little sparser and simpler, syllable-wise, going  forward… In any case, please enjoy, and comment!

– The Haikook

P.S. this is actually a Senryū poem, not Haiku…please read the Haikumages About page for more information about these different forms…

This entry was published on 2012/04/24 at 11:11 am. It’s filed under Feelings, Haiku, Life+Wisdom, Nonsense+Wordplay, Words+Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post.

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