This is a 3-5-3 syllable remake of my original 5-7-5 haiku:
Haiku jester throws / random pebble in water / revels in ripples.
I’ve been writing 3-5-3 ‘ku’s and ‘ru’s as a brain exercise lately, and although some look a little sparse, it has forced me to focus on the essence of the thought-image, message or feeling I want to convey. I kinda like it! 3-5-3 is more hints and clues, rather than full details – simpler, purer wording, and more interpretive for the reader.
The funny thing is that when I go back to 5-7-5 syllables, I feel verbose! It feels like overabundance, a luxury of words, an embarrassment of riches. It’s like giving a slob – a messy person – a larger room to live in…you know they’ll fill up the extra space with more stuff, but will it be good stuff or just more mess? 3-5-3 has been a good discipline for me…
Which do you like better? Don’t worry, I don’t think I’ll abandon 5-7-5 completely, any time soon, but Haikumages will be a little sparser and simpler, syllable-wise, going forward… In any case, please enjoy, and comment!
– The Haikook
P.S. this is actually a Senryū poem, not Haiku…please read the Haikumages About page for more information about these different forms…